Should You Be Armed to Drive thru Krispy Kreme?

By Woody Jenkins, Editor, Central City News — You really shouldn’t have to be armed to drive through Krispy Kreme Doughnuts at 5:30 a.m. on a weekday morning, should you?

Well, since a few thugs shot up the drive-through line at Krispy Kreme on Plank Road in Baton Rouge at 11 a.m. on Dec. 19, 2022, I guess you do!  At least I do!  

My 62-year love affair with Krispy Kreme and this particular location on Plank Road in particular could well be drawing to a close.  

Fond memories of familiar faces and good times are long gone, and it’s clear We’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto!  Over the 62 years that I’ve been going to this location beginning in 1961, I’ve been KK’s own personal cheerleader.  I’ve written many stories for the newspaper and for our former television station WBTR-TV, bragging on Krispy Kreme and trying to help them stay in business, even encouraging other media to promote KK. 

I’ve sold thousands of dozens and even started a Krispy Kreme store at Istrouma High school. I never made a penny for myself but just wanted to keep something nice in North Baton Rouge — something that was the way things used to be when I was growing up.  

It was so disappointing when the new store on Plank Road was built and the Krispy Kreme corporation fired virtually all of the old staff who had been so loyal over the years. Is the corporation just plain stupid?  The new people really didn’t know much of anything. 

In addition, I must say I was a bit disappointed when they kicked me out of the new Krispy Kreme because I wouldn’t wear a stupid mask, as though a useless mask on a well person would protect anyone from anything. But I didn’t expect the new management to be great defenders of civil liberties.  So I tried to overlook that. 

This morning I had a notion to go to Krispy Kreme despite the recent shooting. I was happy to see no one was in the drive-thru line at 5:30 a.m.  

Maybe I wouldn’t have to shoot my way to the window, as I suspected I might!  

Unfortunately, my drive-through experience was a bit less than desired. I had to repeat my order three times. “One glazed, one blueberry cake, and one cream-filled, please!”  Simple enough, I thought.  The gentleman taking orders did not seem to understand or speak English, at least not as it is generally spoken around here. 

When I got to the window itself, I was surprised to see that he was local. I cheerfully repeated my order and he nodded. He told me there was no coffee. It would have to be made and that will take quite some time because they had to clean the coffee maker. Maybe 15 minutes. So I passed on the coffee. 

I happily paid $5.75 for those three donuts, knowing that they would be hot and fresh off the line! It is 5:30 a.m., correct? 

As soon as I pulled away and reached for the donuts, to my surprise there was one glazed, gigantic in size and with the consistency of hard rubber. And there were two chocolate-covered donuts. Not my order even though there was no one else in line!  Hmmm.  

But at least they were hot and fresh, right? Actually, no, they were cold as ice and covered with sweat, probably made yesterday afternoon! I hate sweaty donuts!  They are one of my least favorite foods.

Not to be completely thrown off, I hopefully bit into the giant glazed donut. It was terrible! Have they changed the ingredients or the formula or the recipe?  I don’t know but it was bad and so disappointing!  

Suddenly, I had an idea! Krispy Kreme delivers to the Racetrack by my house around 1 a.m. I bet there’s some good Krispy Kreme doughnuts there!  

So I drove to the Racetrack by my house to sample the merchandise.  Sure enough, the donuts on display looked very good, even though I knew they were made yesterday. They were small, the way I like them. And not sweaty!  So I bought three. $5.45. I went home, pulled out one of my Krispy Kreme coffee cups, grabbed a Krispy Kreme Keurig cup, and made a cup of authentic Krispy Kreme coffee!  It was all good!   

I put on my Krispy Kreme hat and ate two of the donuts while holding my gun and wondering, Am I just a refugee from a Mad Max movie trying to preserve some bit of ancient history that no one else seems to care about and everyone seems to have forgotten? 

Why can’t things be safe and pleasant and clean like they used to be in North Baton Rouge?  

Well, I’m sure you’ll have answers for that!  

Meanwhile, as I pursue a grinding 80 hour-a-week work schedule at my office on the edge of North Baton Rouge, I will still travel the old familiar streets of North Baton Rouge from time to time, well armed, and try to visit Krispy Kreme — when I’m sure the guns aren’t blazing!  

Maybe there will be a familiar face or something that reminds me of a wonderful time I love from not so long ago.